Genderbent Love
by Darcy Cole
Summary: A series of one-shots taking place in the Nyotalia universe. Multiple Pairings.
1. Plait

**Hetalia and Nyotalia belong to Hidekaz Himaruya, not me.**

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><p>Françoise grinned as a group of men whistled as she sauntered by. She turned around and sent them a wink, and giggled as they all blushed. It was so cute how easily flustered the English were, especially her petite Rose. Françoise's smile became more lecherous as she approached Rose's small townhouse. Rose had finally agreed to go out to dinner with her, even if it was only because Françoise offered to pay for the awful English cuisine.<p>

"Angleterre! Je suis arrivé!" _England! I have arrived! _The Frenchwoman frowned when Rose didn't jump out screaming at Françoise to leave. By now she would usually have a slap mark on her cheek and an ear full of English slang. "Angleterre?" Françoise rounded the corner and saw Rose sitting in her office. "There you are!"

"I'm not in the mood, Frog," Rose mumbled from behind a desk piled with paperwork.

"Angleterre," Françoise whined, "you promised you would go out to dinner with me!"

"I changed my mind." Françoise frowned and grabbed Rose's elbow. "W-what do you think you're doing git!"

"Taking you to dinner, of course!"

"But I'm not properly dressed!" Françoise froze and turned around to meet Rose's smirk. "I can't go out looking like this, now can I?" Françoise looked Rose up and down. She was wearing a matching tweed skirt and jacket with a white button-up, but Françoise knew from a lost bet that Rose also wore some very sexy lingerie under those frumpy clothes. She was also wearing her pearls and trademark oxfords and...pigtails. Françoise frowned and advanced towards Rose. Rose gulped and backed-up until her back hit the desk. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Angleterre, why do you wear your hair in pigtails?"

Rose blushed and said, "why do you ask that?"

_Oh, the telltale blush... _"Well, you're a grown woman who dresses like a librarian and wears pigtails. What's that all about?" Rose grabbed and tugged on her pigtails, as if to unconsciously hide them. Her eyes went wide and she mumbled something into her shoulder. "What did you say?" Rose sighed as she started to play with her split ends. Françoise slapped her hand and said, "don't do that! And answer my question!"

"I said...I tried to braid my hair and it wouldn't work."

Françoise raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow and said, "you tried to braid your hair?"

"Yes."

"...why?"

At this point Rose was so red Françoise was surprised she hadn't passed out. "When we were kids you used to braid my hair, and I...I...kindofmissit."

Françoise chuckled and said, "Rose, would you like me to braid your hair?"

Rose's eyes widened before she looked back down and said, "o-okay."

Françoise led Rose to the bedroom and sat her on the bed. She took Rose's hair out of the pigtails and shook it a little before running her fingers through the blonde locks. "Your hair's getting long again, Rose." Françoise brushed Rose's hair until it shined and separated it into three segments. As she braided the hair she hummed an old French tune and smiled when Rose began to hum at the chorus. "I thought you didn't listen to French music, cher." Rose blushed and abruptly stopped. Françoise took some pins out of her pocket and proceeded to pin the braid into a bun.

Françoise leaned forward and kissed Rose on the cheek before whispering, "there you go. You look so beautiful and sophisticated."

"R-really?"

"Yes, such an improvement!"

Rose huffed and said, "so what, I was ugly before?"

"Not ugly, just a little homely..." Rose screeched and threw the closest thing, which happened to be the hair brush, at Françoise.

"Get out and don't come back, you twat! And you can forget about dinner!"

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><p><strong>I never understood the pigtails, so this is my explanation for them.<strong>

**Nyotalia England: Rose Kirkland (Himaruya suggested Rosa as a name for Fem!England, but I prefer Rose)**

**Nyotalia France: Françoise Bonnefoy**

**Review please (:**


	2. Secret Agent Men

**Hetalia and Nyotalia belong to Hidekaz Himaruya, not me.**

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><p>Liechtenstein frowned and tapped Belarus on the shoulder. "Nikita, why are we spying on Russia and America's date?"<p>

Belarus put down his binoculars and glared at Liechtenstein. "Number one: we are not spying, we just happen to be in the same place at the same time and I just happen to have my binoculars. Number two: it is not a date. Number three: you call me Nikolai or Belarus. Only brother and sister are allowed to call me Nikita."

Liechtenstein cocked his head to the side and asked, "why?"

"It's a nickname."

"Oh, like how America calls Russia 'Anya' instead of 'Ivanna'?"

"Ye—wait, what?" Nikolai fumbled with his binoculars before raising them back up to look at his sister. "They call each other nicknames now!"

"Yes, and Russia calls America 'sunflower'...isn't that so cute?"

Nikolai groaned and said, "it is not 'cute', Liechtenstein. Sister should be calling ME sunflower, not some capitalist pig." Nikolai could not believe he of all people was stuck babysitting Liechtenstein. Wasn't Liechtenstein his own nation, anyway? Why did he have to be looked after whenever Switzerland was busy? Nikolai sighed when Liechtenstein tapped his shoulder again. "What now?"

"Why can I call you by your human name, but you can't call me by mine?"

Nikolai narrowed his eyes and said, "alright, Mr. Vogel, let me ask you a question. Why do you always have to be babysat? I thought you were your own country."

Liechtenstein scooted closer and said, "I am my own country, but I don't like being alone," he leaned closer and whispered into Nikolai's ear, "unless it's with you." He leaned back and smirked at the red blossoming on Nikolai's cheeks. "By the way, my name is Klaus" Klaus said, followed by a peck on the cheek. He stood and said, "auf Wiedersehen, Nikita!" before running off.

Nikolai sputtered and yelled after Klaus, "what the hell was that!"

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><p>"BELARUS!" Russia screamed and hid behind America. "Hide me!"<p>

America cried, "I'm not going anywhere near that creepy bastard!" before running in the opposite direction.

"America, you coward! Do you want another Cold War! Because that's what I'll give you!"

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><p><strong>Nyotalia Belarus: Nikolai Arlovskaya<strong>

**Nyotalia Liechtenstein: Klaus Vogel (Himaruya suggested Vogel for Liechtenstein's surname, and I just really like the name Klaus)**

**Nyotalia Russia: Ivanna Braginski**

**And yes, I do believe Liechtenstein would be the seme.**

**I'd love to write a story about these two...*hint hint***

**Review please (:**


	3. Hikkomori

**Hetalia and Nyotalia belong to Hidekaz Himaruya, not me.**

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><p>The Netherlands, alias Lieke Van Dijk, had been in Japan for about a week. This was her second time visiting, and she was still a bit nervous. The Japanese were not used to seeing a foreigner in their midst, especially one as threatening looking as Lieke.<p>

But this trip was not just for pleasure, she also came to protect Japan, to protect Sakura. America, the idiot, had decided that Sakura should open her country up for trade. But Sakura was naïve and so new to the Western world; she'd also be open to attack.

"Ms. Van Dijk? Ms. Van Dijk!" Lieke turned to see one of Japan's citizens running towards her. She had sent him to Sakura to see how she was dealing with America.

"What's the matter?"

The Japanese man shuffled a bit on his feet before saying, "I'm sorry! But according to the information I got just now, Japan signed a treaty of peace and amity with America!"

Lieke but her lip and looked at the ground, trying not to show her emotions.

_It looks like you found someone else to watch the cherry blossoms fall with..._

"Ms. Van Dijk?"

"...Give me a light," she said, pulling out her long pipe.

"Is everything alright, Ms. Van Dijk?"

"Yes, but I need to be heading home now. Give Ms. Honda my regards."

_Good luck with America, Japan. You'll need it..._

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><p><strong>Nyotalia Netherlands: Lieke Van Dijk (Lieke is pronounced Lee-KUH)<strong>

**Nyotalia Japan: Honda Sakura**

**This is based on The Netherlands and Isolationist!Japan comic.**

**Hikkomori means withdrawal in Japanese (according to Google Translate).**


	4. Vodka

**Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya, not me.**

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><p>"I'm really surprised you decided to invite me over, Russia."<p>

Russia waved her hand dismissively and said, "what, I can't catch up with old friends?"

Finland pursed her lips and said, "I didn't know we were friends..."

Russia laughed. "Oh come on, think of all the things we have in common! Northern countries, we both play hockey, and..." Russia paused to take a bottle of Russian Standard out of her coat. "...vodka~"

Finland clapped her hands and jumped up and down like an excited puppy. "You have vodka! Mahtavaa!" _Awesome!_ Finland pouted and crossed her arms. "Sve won't let me keep vodka in the house anymore."

Russia clicked her tongue and said, "well that's not fair, you're your own country, too! Here," Russia said as she poured Finland a shot of vodka. Russia was shocked when Finland downed the whole shot in one go.

"Ahh, life giving water; nectar of the gods!"

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><p>"You know, I think you're attractive," Finland said, swishing the liquid in her glass back and forth."<p>

Russia smiled and said, "Really?"

"Yeah, you have long hair just like Sve!" she drank the contents of her glass and giggled. "Gimme more!" Russia smiled and poured her another glass.

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><p>Finland hiccuped and said, "did you know I slept with Denmark once?"<p>

Russia raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

Finland nodded and then held her head as the room began to spin. "Woah...yeah, it was back when she was still Queen of the North."

"How was she?"

"I don't remember, we were both drunk." Finland didn't notice Russia's lecharous smile. "Maybe that's why Sve won't let me buy vodka anymore..."

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><p>Finland sobbed as she said, "and it's just like...why does Sve make me stay home all day with Sealand? She's the one who bought the little brat, not me!" She downed another shot. "And every year it's the same thing: What are you going to get me for Christmas, Finland? Can I have porn? I thought Santa lives in the North Pole..." She threw her glass at the wall. "Fuck them!"<p>

"...I'll get you a new glass..."

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><p>Finland kept leaning the the left as she struggled the keep her eyes open. "Tired..."<p>

"Perhaps you should take a little nap, da?"

"A nap...I...I'll sleep for ten gazillion years..."

Russia watched as Finland's head fell forward and hit the table. Russia poked Finland a few times before giggling and rubbing her hands together. "удачная..."__Lucky...__

As she moved closer to Finland, Russia missed the tall figure leaning over her holding her shovel. The figure brought the shovel down on Russia's head and watched as she fell to the ground. The figure then lifted Finland and threw her over her shoulder as she glared at Russia's unconscious form. "M' husb'nd..." Sweden sighed and carried Finland back home. "Th's is why I don't let ya drink, Fin..."

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><p><strong>The "nectar of the gods" thing is a reference to King's Quest 5. Why yes, I am a dork.<strong>

**Review, please (: **


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